Day 32

The Nestle Yo Yo

Besides salt, Americans consume 10 times more sugar than any other food additive. This alarmed me a little as I really don’t think I could eat 40 teaspoons of salt a day for 60 days. Someone else can run with that idea if they like. They gonna need some water though.

By far the worst morning so far. All is okay now, the ship has been righted but gee whiz I had the downers this morning. I even squeezed out a tear in the car and thought I should probably be filming it so pulled out my iphone, hit record and cried even harder that I was capturing my emotions on a telephone. I have full understanding for those Big Brother contestants. Actually, thats a show… 15 contestants locked in a house and having to eat 40 teaspoons of sugar a day. Wait a minute, that is actually what happens on that show. Ha. It was probably 50 teaspoons though with all the coke endorsements and what not.

My dear lady was a trooper of buoyancy this morning and radiated life as I slumped in the cafe chair. I thought by ordering the hazelnut, buckwheat ricotta pancakes with stewed pear and yoghurt, my spirits would artificially soar again (a mega 15 teaspoons). But alas, they arrived drenched in a pear syrup sauce and were actually too sweet, which coming from me is a damning appraisal for the cafe. In fact when the chirpy, overly exuberant waiter asked “How was your meal?” I think I actually muttered “pretty shit actually, far too sweet.” Aren’t I just the charmer on sugar? I really prefer the me of 33 days ago, I know my lady does and now a young man starting out in the hospitality trade does too.

I pushed on til lunch where I attacked a shepherd’s pie from the local bakery with a ‘mafia hit’ of tomato sauce. The salt of the 2 teaspoons of sauce were absorbed with a bottle of Royal Gala apple juice which rendered me another 6 teaspoons.  Slump still very much hovering and some strange neck pains.

I then stuffed another IGA stale lamington into my face hole at around 3pm, by this stage desperate for a sugar hit to alleviate some pressure from a now throbbing head. This was noticeable addict like behaviour. I felt a very strong urge to just keep ramming sugar into me to get a brief moment of respite. Sanity prevailed though and my healing lady of light floated in with some soothing clove balm that she liberally applied to my temples and other pressure points. 45 minutes later I was lying on the couch, feeling calm, tension relieved and ready for some more snacking.

I thought I would enter the world of Milo. I read the label, did some research and found that it has the official seal of the Glycemic Index Test. It tells me that its low Gi when eaten with milk. I heaped it into the glass and no matter what garb that green tin tries to tell me, its just very dark looking sugar mixed with milk (10 teaspoons). Apparently its ‘Rich in Protein’, ‘Nourishing Energy’ and scariest of all ‘Sponsors Australia’s Junior Cricket Development Program’…this explains so much. I would like to add here that Milo is made by Nestle and Nestle also happens to own Jenny Craig. What a successful ‘yo yo-ic’ operation they have going; get em fat, lose the fat, get em fat, lose the fat. Genius.

I know I indulged the misery of earlier today but I do feel much much better now (a small bowl of pesto pasta just helped). I needed to have a day of doing very little and that happened. I would love to blame the sugar entirely but I have been more busy than normal and that has taken its toll. In fact, I may not have been able to get through the workload without sugar, which is an odd thing to say but I think  a lot of people live like this and we wonder why our bodies then require so much medication at the age of 55? Lovely humans of planet earth, sugar will never be a substitute for the might of real life force.

32 behind me and 40 more in the belly.