Day 13

Paranoid Android

20 years ago, 1 in 14 Australians were obese. That number now stands at 1 in 5. A television show called ‘The Great Australian Bake Off’  is currently leading the ratings. Careful, concerned programming.

So today the ‘Sugar Fun Park’ roller coaster took an upward turn. The lurking rattiness was certainly still around but tasks got done semi productively and some great moments were caught on camera.

I am putting every teaspoon of sugar that I am eating into some containers as I go and this morning was the first time I baulked at the sight and then comprehended how it will look in 47 days. I laughed out loud a bit. I may be able to charge an access fee for lift passes to my mountain.

I contributed a fair chunk to the north face of Mt Gameau after downing my Just Right and low fat yoghurt combo. An extra scoop of yoghurt for an energy boost was added bringing me to 11 teaspoons.

I bounded into town with camera man and the lady in tow, to meet with a Professor of Psychology at one of the Universities. We were going to talk about my moods and behaviours over the past 2 weeks. You have to love a professor with a RadioHead poster on his wall. My cortex was in good hands. If the Paranoid Android emerged, it would be dealt with safely and calmly.

I devoured a piece of carrot cake and a peach flavoured Iced tea during the filmed discussion (5 teaspoons for the cake, and 8 teaspoons for the tea). He was terrific and we looked at a recent Raines study that came out of the University of Western Australia a few weeks ago. Children at 10 who were fed whole fruits from the age of 1 showed positive cognitive function and development while those children at 10 that were fed sweetened drinks from the age of 1 showed negative cognitive function and development. This is very powerful stuff and has huge implications. I asked if it was normal for a man at 37 who is regularly having sweetened beverages to suddenly lose cognitive function and act like a 10 year old. He just handed me a toy truck and told me to finish my cake.

It was great having my lady in the room too. She got to discuss the changes she has noticed in me and it was enlightening to see the effect my behaviour is having on her. The person eating the sugar is clearly not the only one effected.

We then headed to my supervising doctor who I am pretty sure will be everyone’s doctor when they have seen the film.  Kind, maternal, intelligent and big hearted. If anyone had to tell me I had type 2 diabetes or hypertension, I would choose her. I had the uniquely textured ‘Oats Express liquid breakfast’ as we were setting the cameras up. 6 teaspoons of blended oats, sugar and cardboard.

I was looking forward to this day because it was the first time I have weighed myself in 12 days. I think the doctor was excited too and we took bets on what the digital read out would reveal. I would love to tell you guys but then that would officially be a spoiler.  For someone who hasn’t had a can of soft drink, a scoop of ice cream or a bar of chocolate, the results were remarkable.

I had my blood pressure checked and then a small stye that has decided to turn up on my eyelid examined. There are definitely changes occurring in my meat suit.

I then left, caught up with a great friend and had a cup of tea with 1 teaspoon.

It was then to Bunnings to pick up some small yet manly things. Bunnings can be overwhelming at the best of times but on a sugar withdrawal giant trolleys and staff on beeping mini cranes to get to the upper shelves is borderline horrific.  I felt the need for a hit of my white buddy so dropped in at the cafe inside and got my fix via a Berri Springs Orange Mango juice, which put another 8 boulders on the sugar mountain and my spinach and ricotta roll that gets 2 for the tomato sauce on top. Tomato and BBQ sauce are absolute Sugar Ninjas. Check out the label some time.

My lady then came and got me, we headed to Spotlight over the road (or ‘Lady Bunnings’ as we call it)  and headed home.

It was a great day and a real eye opener on the topic of sugar and what it does to our minds.  I have a feeling this topic is going to get a lot more attention in the coming years.

13 days done and another 40 spoons of stimulating crystals.