Blog

Day 18

January 12, 2015

My little ‘Tolerance’

‘Miracle Berry’ is a small African fruit that hijacks the tastebuds so that anything you eat tastes sweet for 10 minutes, even a lemon. It was seen as a godsend for diabetics in the mid 70s. It was, however considered a ‘dangerous additive’ by the FDA . Aspartame was approved shortly after.

The lady was up and gone early this morning so I attempted a casual sleep in (I am understanding the value of these moments with a newborn around the corner). Sadly, the sugar baby growing in my stomach needed a feed though, so I hauled myself up and stood in front of the fridge with the door open for a good 20 seconds while my system came online. My suspicions about the effects of sugar on the brain were confounded when I realized I had prepared myself an enormous combination bowl of Just Right, Sultana Bran and Fruit Loops with 2 generous scoops of Yoplait low fat yoghurt on top. Even worse was that it actually took me 3 or 4 mouthfuls before my brain noticed the odd mix of dried fruits, bran, sweet creaminess and chemically treated candy rings. Its fair to say the subconscious was at play and the subconscious wanted a mega sugar hit. I did the math (after the sugar took hold of course) and tallied about 15 teaspoons of sugar. The psychologist had talked about ‘tolerance’ and how I may start needing more sugar to feel the ‘hit’. Well today ‘Tolerance’ arrived and she wasn’t pretty. (Do you think there is actually a little girl somewhere in the world called ‘Tolerance’? Perhaps in the US I reckon; on one of those Jerry Springer type shows).

I had to review some work from last week so got sucked into an internet vortex. It really is another reality sometimes isnt it? Hours pass, the spine curls up and then you just pop out again. In my case, desperately craving sugar.

I turned to my old friend the Nutri Grain liquid breakfast (4 teaspoons and thankfully the last in the pack) and an incredibly misleading ‘Go Natural Apple, Cranberry, Strawberry Ripple’ bar (7 teaspoons) which has ‘Nature’s Superfoods’ emblazoned on the side. How do they get away with this stuff? Reminds me of the shock when I learnt that McDonalds 100% Beef patties was just the name of the company that provides the patties. ‘100% Beef’ was the NAME, so of course they could write it anywhere by law. What a load of McBullshit. Perhaps I should suggest this for a new burger name. (I have since learnt and read that this Maccas story was an urban myth, I left it in because I think McBullshit is still a great description for the taste of the food).

I then had to drive into town so thought after mentioning it yesterday I would revisit my old teeth rotting friend, Ribena cordial. And let me tell you that at 7 teaspoons in the 500ml flask I filled up, it hasn’t lost its talents. It felt like I was applying the first coat of enamel to a repainting job of my front 2 teeth.

I then met my lovely mum and we headed off to a sporting match. She was slightly taken aback by my protruding gut. It was nice to get some understanding for my lady though when all the attention switches to your bulging stomach. Mine isn’t met with the same high pitched enthusiasm though.

At this sporting match I realized that people do not stand a chance in hell of avoiding the white stuff at venues like this. To their credit, the ground has installed a ‘Healthier Options’ section. Sadly it was mainly low fat mayonnaise drenched wraps and a wall of fruit juices. Again, people think they are doing the right thing. Believing well marketed commercials and dubious food bodies really has got us into a right pickle (one preserved in sugar of course).

I went with a cajun chicken wrap and an orange juice. The healthiest option I could find and still weighing in at a combined 7 teaspoons.

I also noticed that I was particularly grumpy at the sporting match. I released some vitriol at the adjudicating umpires and even had a heated, low blood sugar exchange with a fellow human. Something I haven’t done in a very very long time. He looked at me completely perplexed when in the heat of battle I suddenly withdrew my verbal weaponry and meekly offered, “Sorry mate, I think its the sugar.”

18 days completed and yet another 40 teaspoons