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Day 52-53

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The prize for the most questionable soft drink ever made has to be ‘Kidsbeer’. This is the beverage equivalent of candy cigarettes for children. It is a Japanese cola-style drink, aimed at children, that has been chemically designed to look like beer – complete with a frothing head. Its tagline reads: “Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink.” 

It is so incredible to be back in this wonderful country, in my beautiful home and by the side of my radiant, loving lady. She says that I certainly look ‘fuller’ but that it just means there is more to cuddle. An outstandingly positive outlook.

I have been awake for what feels like, and nearly has been, 30 hours and so have just combined these 2 days into one because of the sleep depriving time structure that sees New Zealand and The Midway Islands of Samoa close on a map, but roughy 1400 minutes apart. As a result I was robbed of most of Saturday the 21st of September. I did spend some of it on a plane though watching a couple of numbing films and eating a lot of sugar.

The following is everything I have eaten since 10pm Friday night in San Francisco which was about 5am Saturday morning on the Australian east coast.

Corned Beef, aeroplane style, with some mash, cheese and crackers and a plastic ribbed cup of orange juice (6 teaspoons)

A breakfast at ‘Cafe 30,000’ consisting of more orange juice, a yoghurt, a banana muffin and 6 pieces of assorted overly chilled fruits; pineapple, grapes and 2 shades of melon. This meal could have been called the Fructose Platter. I would even go so far as to say it came with ‘iced fruit sashimi.’ (This platter earned me 21 Fructose Flyer Points).

I also muscled down 2 cups of tea on this leg of the journey and on both occasions added 2 teaspoons for a total of 4.

I had a stop over in NZ for 2 hours so sipped a decaf latte with 2 and a piece of lemon bread (5 total).

The airline then served another breakfast but I couldn’t go another fructose platter so chose a delightful ‘plastic egg in alfoil’ combo served with a meatball and some kind of sweet sauce. This went beautifully with my 2013 glass of cloudy apple juice and rendered me another 10 metal spoonfuls.

After landing and taking care of the necessary and much needed hugging and petting, the lady and I headed to one of  our favourite places and I had a raw cacao smoothie that was sweetened with agave. (5 teaspoons) and we shared a nachos with sweet chilli sauce (3).

I have managed to stay awake till now and am going to try and push on for a little longer so I can get a full night’s sleep. Sugar really is the perfect aid to push through the jet lag. Phoenix organic sparkling apple juice with 8 teaspoons has only just now provided me with my 7th wind for the day. The eyelids have buzzed open again and I now believe an 8pm shutdown is a possibility.

This time next week will be my last sugary meal. ‘About F’n Time!’ screams my liver. I would like to film it and make it something special so if anyone has any suggestions, please fire away. Something like ribs with BBQ sauce or a dish that people would like to see in the film. This is the audience participation part of the movie. The winning suggestion will be eaten on camera. We have a week to decide. Lets get creative and make it a memorable Hidden Sugary Delight (Or HSD from this point on).

52 and a bit days down and 63 teaspoons mainly consumed at altitude.

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