That Sugar Movement


Day 55

Captain Sugar Face

Over 5, 500,000 Australians are now effected by fatty liver disease. Only 6000 of these cases are caused by alcohol. This disease was first identified 30 years ago. I will find out next week if I already have it or am on track to getting it. The good news, according to Dr Jean Marc Schwarz, is that it is reversible “just by removing the tsunami of fructose intake”.

My tsunami of fructose is currently a large glass of Ribena mixed with sparkling water (12 teaspoons). I am having a moment. It’s so disgusting and I have to drink it to get me over the line. It’s like corked, flat Rose thats been in the cellar for 14 years and now someone has just stirred a few teaspoons of sugar into it and is making me drink it as a dare. It may be the wall of jet lag I hit an hour ago but it really is making me feel uncomfortable.

Ribena Ribena, just cut to the chase

You’re pretty much sugar with a hint of taste

You’re just far too sweet, even for me

And please stop pretending to be Vitamin C.


Breakfast was a decaf latte with 2 sugars, a piece of warmed but stale banana bread (5 teaspoons) and a glass of Emma and Tom’s Orange Juice which I noticed had stevia in it (and tasted slightly metallic). It also had 4 teaspoons of the sugar.

I then did some work for a bit and the lady made me a milkshake for the drive into town. She said she would make it sweet but bless her cotton socks, her sweetness scale is no match for the 40 a day Captain Sugar Face over here. My taste buds are trained for pure hot treacle. I really hope our child has her taste buds, she has no sweet tooth at all. Her tooth equivalent is an occasional random craving of carbohydrates and she has been known to get up at 2am to make herself some gnocchi. This is while NOT pregnant I might add, nor under the influence of alcohol. Bless.


Her ‘sweet shake’ was a whole banana, some milk and pure cacao powder with honey. So about 5 teaspoons. My guess is this would be called “The Sour Banana Smoothie” in the US.

Lunch was a terrific meeting with a lovely human and we enjoyed a tasty lunch and some top shelf conversation. I really have met some good people on this journey and I am sure it is a strong sign of being on the correct path. I had the steak. The waiter told me it came with a reduction sauce that had “shitloads” of sugar added. SOLD. 6 teaspoons.

I washed it down with some cloudy apple juice which had 6 more teaspoons and rounded out what has definitely been a tsunami day of fructosean liquids.

The lids are heavy now and it took a lot out of me even to find words that rhymed in the above grade 5 standard Ribena poem. I am finding myself just crawling to the finish line of this sugary ridiculousness. Even the thought of blog writing is tough. All parts of my body are ready to go on strike. They have actually made banners about workplace safety and conditions and stuck them up on the inner lining of my stomach. They have even taken out an advert on my internal organs television network to get support from my cells. The ad is really disturbing and is footage of a liver holidaying on a beach when a tidal wave of apple juice destroys the island. Very confronting. The tag line is “Don’t let the liver turn into a river. Take action now.” Its quite haunting. But I understand their pain and have let them know that the madness ends on Sunday. Peace will be restored.

I have just had some minestrone soup and now I am off to reaquaint my dirty hair with its old mate the pillow. Its a love affair ready to be rekindled. There is just 5 more days of white crystal eating. What pure bloody joy.


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That Sugar Movement