Day 7

Succulent Breasts

A teaspoon of sugar after a hot curry will extinguish the furnace in your mouth.

One week today, 280 teaspoons down. A time for celebration. A cake perhaps?

No thanks.

Eyes open. Very sluggish. A quick morning spoon. Lady leaves the bed and returns with a bowl of Sultana Bran Clusters and low fat yoghurt (11 teaspoons). Very romantic.

Sugar kicks in and I leap out of bed. My brain has now had a shot of nitrous so I feel like doing some maths. I grab a packet of Fruit Loops and deduce that a bowl of the Loops has only one teaspoon of sugar less than the same size bowl of the Bran. If only I had known this as a 12 year old; Mum never would have stood a chance.

Fidgeting kicks in 45 minutes later. Time for a Nutri Grain liquid energy drink with its 24 grams or 6 teaspoons. This box also states it is 13 grams of lactose which is good, clear labelling but then undoes the hard work by boldly stating that it is ‘School Canteen Friendly’ and ‘Made From Australian Milk’. I don’t know if either phrase quite deserved the bold, colourful typography.

As for the taste. Wow. Its like they put a million nutri grains into a giant vat of milk (Australian made), let them go soggy for 3 weeks, then drained the liquid into the box.

Lunch was a sugar free oasis of wholemeal pasta with spinach, ham and feta.

By mid afternoon I felt exhausted. I confess this was also due to a fair bit of organizing as we are trying to put a 90 minute movie together. Sugar is terrific for eating on the run though, you can really just keep topping up the adrenalin and skim across the top of your appetite.

The trusty chunk of raisin toast saved me mid afternoon (4 teaspoons per slice) and a packet of sesame seed snaps. These were an old favourite of mine and I used to think I was getting away with a ‘healthy snack’. Reality intervened today and the ‘yoghurt’ covered ones I ate got me 4 teaspoons. 4! in that tiny pack.

With 15 teaspoons remaining and evening upon us, I had to think fast. My lady had an amazing roast chicken simmering in the oven with delicious green vegetables; no sugar in sight. There was only one thing to do and so I sped to the local IGA and picked up some Apricot flavoured Chicken Tonight. I swear I heard a faint whimper from the golden chook as I poised the jar above its succulent breasts (see photo for proof).

I utterly destroyed that meal with just half a jar and 20 grams of sugar or 5 teaspoons.

I felt pretty flat and it was a real moment of truth for us as a couple. This was how it was going to be for the next 7 weeks. Sugar had become the ‘other white lady’. Tonight she had gate-crashed a perfectly good meal. Not even the buzz from my 400ml glass of Apple juice with its 10 teaspoons of sugar could wash away the cold, crystalline truth.

I am so ready for bed but sadly, my slightly wired brain is not.

40 teaspoons down. 7 days.