The day I ate 40 actual teaspoons of sugar.

I just read an article saying that in June of 2000, scientists found a molecule of sugar in outer space. They said it was found in a ‘dust cloud at the centre of the Milky Way galaxy’.  Sadly they didn’t even see the joke they had just made. 

There are very little words to describe today, as it was a first for me and a first for many who witnessed it on the busy city streets.

Today was about making a point for the cameras that encapsulated all that I have learnt so far. The incredible 8 day journey down the sugar lined rabbit hole.

Those who already understand the hidden sugar story will be appalled at this but this was for the people who still don’t quite comprehend it.

At breakfast I stared at a bowl of Just Right with a scoop of low fat yoghurt (10 teaspoons) but I then took a bowl of virtually sugar free Vita Brits and to highlight the point heaped out 10 teaspoons of sugar onto the top and proceeded to eat the lot. It was the same amount of sugar as if eating the Just Right yoghurt combo.

Now I have never had that much actual sugar in my mouth before and I swear I heard my dentists scream (with joy at the incoming root canal cash flow) as it burrowed its way in between my delicate molars and incisors.

A rapid eye twitch almost instantly engaged and I thought long and hard about continuing with the plan. Stupidity and ‘suffering for my art’ prevailed and into town I went.

Now this was not an exercise in nutritional comparisons, it was purely to highlight a point about sugar intake.

My mid morning snack was supposed to be a small cup of brightly coloured, healthy looking frozen yoghurt. I wish. Again to demonstrate the point, a tub of sugar free Greek yoghurt was produced and 11 teaspoons were heaped accordingly. As I began to eat, people stopped and stared and accused me of being “mad”, “crazy” or “stupid”. Right on all accounts. I am learning that those three succinct words perfectly describe the current food model in our society.

Onto the food court I went and out came a beautifully cooked Nandos half chicken and a bottle of Powerade. I threatened to pour half a pack of terayaki chicken sauce onto my chook but instead opted for the 4 teaspoons of real sugar. I must say it felt nice to be revisiting my old friend the chicken dessert. Cue the peak hour inner city lunch crowd jaw drop. They scoff now but one day they will all be buying my  ‘Gameau Farm’s Chicken Dessert.”

I washed that down with a Powerade, or should I say 8 teaspoons of sugar in a warm glass of water. It dissolved quite well, to my surprise, but my nervous system switched to light speed and overtook the Millenium Falcon.

I sat there for a while and took in this new and intriguing state of consciousness. Colours seemed brighter and I felt like I could hear everyone’s conversations at once, which when in the location of an inner city food court; is truly terrifying.

15 minutes later I was passed out on a huge couch in the middle of the shopping centre. A security guard woke me, without even offering a cuddle.

I wandered around for a while and then at 3pm I watched all the office workers scurry out onto the streets to inhale a cigarette or a can of Red bull. Perfect I thought, its time for my afternoon pick me up.

I longingly looked at a Go Natural “Superfood’ Apple, Cranberry Ripple bar and then promptly produced 2 water crackers, wedged 7 sugar cubes between them and bit down hard.  It made a magnificent crunching noise but those crackers are perfectly designed for delicate French cheeses and pesto dips; sugar really has no place being anywhere near them.

Day 9 down and 40 actual teaspoons eaten. Hopefully to demonstrate a point and never to be done again.

Oh, and at 7:43 I threw up, which I was quite happy about. I had a quinoa salad with the lady and am now as good as gold. Night.